The heart kind. Without getting into all the pathetic, heart breaking, ego crushing details, he's just not that into me. Well, he's just not into me at all.
I decided that I wasn't going to do a Trevor repeat, pine over a man for 2 years only to be completely devastated in the long run. Rewind to "you're the one I want to marry" followed by making out with my friend and reuniting with his ex girlfriend.
"Indy" is in town this week. After his good friend told me last week that I should get together with Indy, marry him and have four babies... I was like, F this... I'm not going to spend the next two years stuck in one place wondering where I stand. A few of my friends recommended that I just get it out, ask him straight up how he feels so that at least I know. Last night we went out to dinner with Kristina and Fritz and then we grabbed a drink alone after (well, more like 2.5 drinks but who's counting). I used my liquid courage to tell him about the conversation I had had with his friend, followed by "I have a giant crush on you". As obvious as I had been, he had NO idea. The fact that I can't string together a sentence when I'm around him wasn't really apparent to him, nor was the fact that I can't actually look him in the eye for more than 2 seconds without going into heat. Long story short, he played it all off... a "crush" really isn't anything at all and made light of the conversation. So it sucks, but I appreciate him making me feel like less of a moron about it all. We even joked about having to see each other at my office today.
As if that wasn't the worst part, we came back to my place to sober up and he left around 11:30. The guy was in my condo, on my couch with a good buzz... seriously. The first time I've been in this position in a LONG time where it didn't end up in at a decent makeout!
I went to bed at midnight, hurt and buzzed. I knew it would be tough to get up this morning to go to M.C. hungover, and in pain from the last few days of working out. But all I could think about was how much I needed a really big hug from Allison. I know that might sound lame, but when you live 2500 miles from home, hugs are hard to come by. I was up early today, was at the gym 15 minutes before class, lined up and waiting for some love. Allison delivered, in fact, so did Leslie from our class. Both said the obligatory "he's crazy not to like you, men are clueless" thing which all good friends should do when you've just been shot down. The hug and workout was just what I needed, to get me back on track and distracted from the events of last night. And as the mood was starting to pick up, Allison sealed the deal with a laugh (which she can always provide):
"You know, I know it seems really, really bad now but it's better to get this out now than be heart broken in the long run. But honestly, he's SOOOO stupid for not wanting to be with you. That's like, forgetting to write your name on the SAT stupid". Perspective is always a good thing, I'm sure I'll be on to my new crush in minutes. In fact, I always have a few in the hopper... I like to rock multiple crushes at any given time. I just have to elevate the status of my backup crush. ;-)
Thursday, June 12
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1 comment:
I think the line is:
You can't make good Tuna without killing a COUPLE of dolphins...
Or something like that. N
othing ventured, nothing gained. At least you know now and can move on to your back up crush. I don't think I have ever HAD a back up crush. I wonder if I was ever someone's failsafe crush???
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