Saturday, May 31

Measurements

I forgot to post these. These are TOTAL's lost to date:

Total Inches Lost
Chest 5.25
Waist 9.25
Neck 2
Thigh 4
Calf -0.5
Upper Arm -0.5
Shoulders 2.5

Total 22.0

I will do pictures next week. I am REALLY not happy with this weeks. I look fatter for some reason. Maybe it's my eye but I look like a heifer.

Leg Day AGAIN???

Yes, again today was leg day. I like a Saturday morning leg day. Although I was STILL sweating 90 minutes later when I did my passport photo, I love me a good leg day.

I skipped 2 excercises today. I didn't have the heart to do lunges OR leg curls after my 5:45 set from hell. To explain the burn on that set.... UMMM... Let's put it this way... Take a steak knife, stab it INTO your thigh and then through some hot sauce on it. That is about how I felt from the 3 minute mark on today. It was EXTREMELY painful but you REALLY do feel good once you finish that set.

I had ENOUGH energy after finishing my leg workout that I was able to do 40 minutes of SLOW stepmill action. I really tried to keep my heart rate UNDER 135 but that was really tough. MY HR stays in the 150's for my entire leg session usually so HIIT or anything else just isn't possible.

I am making Italian meatballs for my cheat day. It is my first try at this so I don't know how it will go.

Polska, a new tip for more pain??? Put a 10lb dumbell in between your feet while doing floor sweepers. Man is that fun.

Have a nice weekend all. ALL kinds of NEPA on tap tomorrow. Soccer at 1:00, baseball at 6:00 and a workoout in the morning. I am GOING to try and run 5 miles on the treadmill. Will be hell I know bit, I should be 195 by tomorrow night :)

Friday, May 30

Tips

From all you half / full marathoners, any tips for keeping your HR down on training runs???

I can keep track of it while on the treadmill but once I get outside, the damn thing will NOT get below 165. Even after I take a minute walk, as soon as I start jogging again, the damn thing hops right back up again. I don't FEEL like I am running fast but I guess I must be for my fat little body. I just came back from a 40 minute run and my heart has been through the ringer so to speak.

My workout today went well. Shoulders and biceps REALLY is my 3rd favorite workout but today it went REALLY well. I started a new bicep workout last week which has increased my motivation for this particular workout. I also did 30 minutes of HIIT to finish it off. With that PLUS my run, done 70 minutes of cardio today. Also, I have a baseball game tonight. So my cardio is COVERED for today.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.

Why I shouldn't golf...

Even on a bad day, playing golf is 100 times better than being at work. When I'm out there, I fantasize about quitting my job and golfing every day. And depending on who I'm out there with, I may also be thinking about a little "break in the woods". The reality is that I'm house poor and will not be quitting my day job anytime before I'm 80.

However, heading into July at Microsoft is like running full steam into a black hole where people get lost and don't find their way back until September. The sun finally comes out in Seattle, the kids are on summer vacation and our European partners are off on their extended two month siestas. The motivation dwindles quickly and even if you aren't taking vacation you spend your fair share of time getting in late, taking an extended lunch, leaving early or just "working from home" (or in my case, on the golf course or sailboat).

I'll be working from my pajamas today, leaving at 2 pm for a hair apt and then yes, hitting the golf course. The unfortunate reality is that it's still May which means I'll be making up for lost work time on Sunday... but I'll be counting the days until July 1.

Ticks, snakes and spiders ... oh my!

when I run I always have this mantra in my head...

"run fat girl run"

It works, and I love running.

So I mentioned I was going running in the Ozarks of Missouri. Well two things I hate more than anything in life are ticks and snakes. I am never going to be a mountain woman, country girl or REI mascot. In fact I hold dearly to my JAP (Jewish American Princess) title. But I like a challenge so when my cousin suggested that he take us to the best trail run around I was like "Hell Ya!!"

I clarified that there was a trail, of course he said. I clarified that we would be sticking to this trail, of course he said.
Dont trust relatives.
We got there and where there may have beena trail was a grass covered sope. See the trail he asks, I say no and with a tear in my throat proceed to follow the two boys into the tall grass.

We ran for about 30minutes when I had to stop due to the heat and humidity. This was a bad idea. No ssoner did we stop than I looked down and saw an army of ticks marching up my pant leg. With the beating I gave myself I will be black and blue tomorrow but I got them off and then with some goading continued to run. I was feeling pretty proud of myself for "toughin it out" until it happened. Im running and a snake, yes thats right a snake slithers across my foot. with that I let out a scream to make my JAP heritage proud and said:
Peace out Im done
point me in the direction of the car.
And with that I was running like a microsoft wife towards the nordstrom half yearly sale.
The moral of this story: do not trust relatives :)

Thursday, May 29

29 Holes

I missed mountain conditioning this morning. Last night we played softball until 9ish and by the time I got home and did laundry it was almost 10:30 pm. I had to pick up my boss at 8 am this morning to go to a work golf outing and knew that it'd make for a rough start if I got 6 hours of sleep and tried to cram in mountain conditioning before our long haul out to the golf course.

I was really pretty bummed about it, but sometimes you need to listen to what your body is saying. Turns out, today turned out to be a good day. We had the perfect golf weather, and got in our full 18 holes by 2:30 pm. Everyone was drinking away and I didn't have a single sip of booze on the course. We then grabbed lunch (and I had 2 glasses of wine) and hung out on the patio for a few hours. Because the weather was so great I was really hoping to get out and golf some more. Finally one of the guys agreed and we went out and got in an additional 11 holes. All in all, 13 hours of fresh air, 2 glasses of wine and 29 holes of golf. Not a bad day.

And because it's early in the season the golf carts were limited to the cart paths so we still got in a bit of exercise walking/running back and forth between our carts and balls. I definitely got some sun. :) I couldn't ask for anything more... but it is 11:23 and way past my bed time so some sleep will be nice.

Wonky Back

I am writing this blog through a haze of muscle relaxants. With my increased leg work lately, I tweaked my back. Went to the chiropractor and found out I was a bit of a mess. I had a pinched nerve in my neck and had popped 2 ribs. Through a series of acupuncture sessions and him moving my spine manually, I am ALMOST healed. However, as he moves my back, the muscles tend to HATE that and don't respond so well.

Needless to say I had to take it A LITTLE easier on back and ab day today. I still did all my exercises, I just took it easy with the rowing motions. As for cardio, my heart REALLY wasn't in it today. I did 40 minutes of slow and steady cardio and just didn't have the energy to get into any HIIT. Tonight I did go for a little bit of a walk after my hot tub to burn a few more calories but I will REALLY need to pick up the pace tomorrow on Shoulder day.

My weight seems to be coming down SLOWLY these days. I have slowed to 1-2 pounds a week which is VERY frustrating. I am now used to 3-4 a week which makes it A LOT easier. Anyway, I shall continue to plod along and be VERY angry about it :)

Red Velvet Cake

Wow I so dont even know where to begin.

So my grandma passed last thursday and I went to Missouri where I have remained for the past week. I did bring running clothes. Ya thats where it stopped :)

I was tired, for so many reasons. So I havent worked out although today we are going trail running in the Ozarks.

And for eating well please refer to the title of this post. Southerners ifnothing else want o feed you in your time of loss and grief. At times i have tried to choose the grilled chicken salad but hell if I will get on a scale anytime soon.

I had a reallly interesting experience that tells me that Im right where aleks is as far as letting the weight issue conume you. 1. My uncle who I see every three years or so told me the following: "Allison, you are never going to be thin. You arent built that way, you arent built like jenny ( my cousin) You are healthy, you should just accept that" - I have never heard a word so disgusting as "healthy" it was meant like husky or full bodied and it took all i had not to cry. Jenny starves herself, I run and watch what i eat (at times) and she gets to be skinny and Im "healthy". And what up with the whole acceptance thing? Is the universe trying to fuck me up?
2. Throughout the first couple of days, during the funeral and the service I actually asked myself if I looked fat in my mourning dress. Thats sick. enough said.

so I just bought a book called "the perfect fit" about a woman who struggles to get into a pair of skinny jeans and then realizes that happiness and perfection are not found in being thin. I think I need to reaad this message.

I cant wait to get back to WA where I can refocus and not have red velevet cake with coconut sitting infront of me being eaten by my skinny cousin. I want get back to WA and be happy when someones says Im healthy.

Wednesday, May 28

OCD and Balance

Kirk got me thinking a lot about NEPA and how I can incorporate it into my day. Working out in the morning, getting it out of the way before going into a long work day is the only way to go for me. I do that because after 3 pm, I lose all motivation to do anything. Last night I was watching TV after dinner and was contemplating going for a walk. The weather is great and I should be taking advantage of these days but I couldn't get my ass off the couch. Rather than thinking about how nice it would be to walk in the fresh air I started to analyze the missed NEPA opportunity.

Then my dear friend Melissa called and reminded me that I'm starting to go down the OCD path of analyzing every single angle of the journey. The downside of weighing in every day is that you agonize over every little fluctuation rather than looking at the big picture. She called literally as I was playing the NEPA game in my head. I exercise for a number of reasons (it's fun, it relieves stress, I see my friends) but the over arching theme is that it burns calories. I am constantly doing mental math in my head during the day, planning my meals and snacks, adding up the calories and taking into account what I burned in the morning.

It's the same OCD I had when I was agonizing over every aspect of a boy I was into (for almost 2 years). It guided so many of my thoughts. When I got dressed in the morning, I thought about looking hot for him. When I exercised, I pictured his face as motivation. When I ate, I thought about having to get naked with him. When I got a pimple, oh boy. When we hung out, I picked apart every little think he said or did to find meaning behind it all. A million things that happened during the course of a day would trigger a thought about him. He ate up 95% of my sessions with my therapist and don't even ask my friends about him. Quite frankly, it was exhausting for everyone.

When I finally let it go it was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. To walk around without him consuming my thoughts was the best feeling. I wish, after all this time I could think about food and exercise like "normal" people. I don't want to think about everything I do and everything I put (or plan to put) in my mouth. It's exhausting too. Unfortunately I don't really have a choice. I don't have the luxury of being naturally fit. I have to work at it (as do a lot of my friends). But the take away is that I do have to look at the big picture. In the long run, the efforts will add up and my mood and approach to living shouldn't be affected by my morning weigh in.

In case you're interested, I ran for 40 minutes with Nancy and Tamara this morning and for my NEPA I'm playing softball tonight. Not OCD at all. ;-)

Tuesday, May 27

Leg Day

5:30 set of hack squats... Really, can I make it to 8 minutes??? At the 5:00 mark, I started to lose ALL control of my quads. I can honestly say that the last 30 seconds were the longest of my life. To make it worse, I need to stretch it another 15 seconds on Saturday. I must be nuts.

I was so damn tired, I only did 15 minutes of cardio. I will go for a run tonight AFTER Maddy goes to bed in order to make sure I get at least 60 minutes of cardio.

\RANT
My diet really sucks these days... I am not getting NEAR enough protein and TOO many carbs. My cravings seem to be fairly serious. It's REALLY pissing me off since it appears my cheat days are effecting my weekday eating. I might even need to cut them out completely. I get awfully cranky when I am drinking a protein shake and my wife is eating Hagen Daaz ice cream. Cookie Dough no less.
/RANT

Hope everyone had a LOVELY Memorial Day.

Depleted

I'm definitely not as sore as I expected to be after yesterday's hike. However, even after 8 hours of sleep last night, I am completely beat today. I *almost* stayed in bed when the alarm went off at 4:45 am this morning, and it took everything I had to get my ass to the gym.


I had nothing in the tank. I just couldn't get the muscles firing. I could almost feel my depleted glycogen stores, like a next day bonk. Last week when I was getting over my cold my heart rate was peaking around 194. Today I felt like I was sweating up a storm, breathing hard and I peaked at 166. Either my HR monitor is off or my body is confused. Je ne sais pas. I'm going to listen to what it's saying though, drink lots of water today, get in some QUALITY carbs and get another good night's sleep tonight. I think I'll ride the bike or do the elliptical at the gym tomorrow morning just to work out the kinks.


On a side note, I heard a song on the weekend that I loved the minute I heard it, didn't take a few listens to get hooked. It's called "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry. This song makes me dance around my condo clapping my hands above my head. I think I like it because it set to that beat you always hear at hockey games (Gary Glitter - Rock and Roll, Pt. 2) combined with some 80's pop. Plus the lyrics are kinda fun. :) Click on the links and you can hear both on YouTube.


One quick picture of the hike yesterday:


Monday, May 26

Thought for the Day

http://www.t-nation.com/tmagnum/readTopic.do?id=2192537

Fluctuating

Friday - 157 lbs
Saturday (morning after Cheat day) - 159.4 lbs
Sunday - 157.6 lbs
Monday - 158.6 lbs

WTF? I was so excited to come down on Sunday after cheat day only to be disapointed this morning. I question EVERYTHING the minute I get on the scale. I only got about 4.5 hours of sleep last night. So, was it the two glasses of wine I had or the lack of sleep that caused the bad weigh in this morning? Was I just dehydrated when I weighed in at 157.6 lbs yesterday? Did I weigh in before or after taking the kids to the pool (did I just write that on a blog)? What is the magic answer?

I think Kirk's thought of the day came at a perfect time. I'm going hard core at the gym, and I'm not totally half assing the diet but I could definitely do and be better. But do I really have to eat chicken and brocolli and completely cut out drinking? My two favorite lines in the article (and no, not because they contain the F bomb):

Man the fuck up.
You. Fucking. Know. What. To. Do.

Both are true. I definitely know WHAT to do, and I do need to MAN up when it comes to diet. I took my week two pictures today, this time in a bikini. Enough said.

Here's what I do know. After a few weeks in Carl's class I am getting much stronger and recovering much faster after lifting. Today we hiked Mount Si (8 miles round trip, 3700 feet of elevation) and it felt great. It was definitely a tough climb and my legs and ass burned so good but I loved it more than I hated it. The view of Mount Rainier from the top floored me. Four hours out and back and afterwards I actually went shopping with a friend (stocking up for her kid's birthday party) instead of laying on the couch and napping. That's good I think! I think that despite the slow movement on the scale, I'm making progress in my fitness. More importantly, I'm building muscle. Now I need to man up and focus on getting the diet right.

Hopefully then, all things will come together...

Day Off

Finally today I took a day off from lifting.

My body was telling me during my NEPA round off golf to take the afternoon off.

I will jump back in tomorrow with a harsh leg day.

Happy memorial day everyone. I gained 0.5 pounds back on my Polska like cheat day :)

Saturday, May 24

Polska and her Sins

At least you didn't sleep with someone you might regret... OR did you??? :)

You know, this happens to everyone. Most of what you ate since VERY carb rich goes to replenishing your glycogen stores. It feels like shit but it WILL come right off now that you are back on the horse.

I thought you handled it VERY admirably. You got out, got a workout in and didn't snowball one rough evening into 2 bad days, then 3 bad days. Everyone slips, it's how you handle it that counts.

Enough about your hedonistic endeavours yesterday. I ONLY managed 2 pounds myself this week but I got under that 235 barrier that was very, very tough. Now down a lousy 48 pounds. I was HOPING to surpass 50 this week. However, with the start of soccer season tomorrow, this will add approx 3 extra hours of NEPA activity to my week. Hopefully that will kick my fat body into overdrive.

As for my own workout today, I went for a 40 minute run myself on the treadmill. Mostly I am STILL doing run 5 walk 1 but this is MUCH better then the walk 1 run 1 I did at the start of my diet.

For weights today it was chest and triceps day. Looked a little like this:

1) Flat Bench: 5 sets, 225 * 7, 235 * 6, 235 * 5, 235 * 3, 225 * 6
2) Incline Bench: 4 sets, 135 * 15, 155 * 10, 165 * 6, 165 * 6
3) Pec Deck: 4 sets, 145 * 12, 160 * 8, 175 * 6, 190 * 4 (OUCH)
4) Weighted Dips: 6 sets of 5+ with 45 pounds strapped to my waist.
5) Rope pull downs: 3 sets of 10 with 110.
6) Dips: Superset with pulldowns to failure.
7) One arm rope pulldowns: 3 sets to failure with 50.

Off for the night. Today is MY cheat day so I may indulge in a little something something. Not all out like Dudek, but a little something.

Have a nice weekend.

CHEERS

Cheat Day - Confessing my sins (sorry for the long post)

Heading into yesterday I was 2.2 lbs down in about 9 days on the "blog diet". Yesteray was my cheat day. I didn't wake up and say "today is my cheat day", nor do I plan that Fridays from here on out will be my cheat day.

However, by the powers that be, yesterday was eat out day. I got in a run in the morning, burning about 450 calories and had a healthy breakfast. Then it came.

I had a work lunch at The Matador and had some chicken fajitas, not a devastating amount. Had my afternoon snack, all was good. Ended up at Dairy Queen with a friend and her two kids. Sometimes, no matter how much you plan around it, weather and schedules and line ups at restaurants result in fast food dinner. I had a grilled chicken combo, and enjoyed a few fries and onion rings. My friend ordered blizzards so I split a small one with her. This would have been fine, one evening out of an entire week doesn't kill you. But it didn't stop there.

We went back to my friend's place, put the kids down and popped in a movie. There was Chex Mix and Cheese Puffs on the table so I got into some of that. Eventually I got up and took it into the kitchen to get it out of sight, out of mind.

Around 10ish I went back to Kirkland to meet my friend's husband and other work guys that were out for the night. I had ONE drink. At this point, I still consider the night not great, but had I gone home and gone to bed I could have salvaged the day.

Well, one of my colleagues wanted to sober up before going home so we went over to a diner. Greek style lattice fries (don't ask) and chocolate mousse between the two of us later, I had officially gone OVERBOARD.

I woke up this morning feeling terrible about the wasted effort of the last 9 days. I stepped on the scale thinking the same thing I often think when I'm logging in to my online Visa card statements "Dear God, if the number I see isn't crazy, I will NEVER go overboard again". Insert overboard on eating (the scale) or on shopping (online Visa statement).

The number was bad. Up 2.4 lbs (IN ONE DAY). I had not only erased my effort but added 0.2 lbs. Now I know, I didn't ACTUALLY gain 2.4 lbs in a day and that tomorrow I'll come down a bit but I will not come down the full 2.4 lbs. I don't want to do this again. I don't want to spend the next few months taking 2 steps forward, 1 step back. I need to pull it together, and string together a few solid weeks.

I will cheat, it's normal and good for preventing the all out binges. But this is what it should look like:

Cheat --> Recover

Not:

Overindulge --> All out scramble to regain composure

So this morning, despite having zero desire to workout I went to the gym. I decided to take a circuit training class because I KNEW I'd have a hard time pushing myself. The class was fantastic. The instructor was hard core, and he had the BEST music I've heard in any Pro Club class ever. It was like my all time favorite playlist on steroids. A completely motivational mix of new and old school. His class (and his beautiful body) completely lifted my spirits.

Now I'm home, enjoying a coffee and making breakfast (well lunch, it's 12:31 pm). I'm heading back over to my friend's house to help with yard work today. I'm hoping that between the workout this morning and a day of picking up wet leaves I'll be back on the right track.

Coincidentally, when I logged on to my online Visa card statement this morning I was also freaked out. I knew it was coming, but I wasn't sure how bad it was going to be. I wonder if I can work on my financial diet in parallel with my blog diet?

Friday, May 23

Personal Record

5 chin ups today... PR for me :)

Thursday, May 22

Puss Out?

This morning I actually thought I might throw up in class again. 751 calories in 1.5 hours. I really don't think I've experience a class this difficult yet. Why?

A Pro Club physiotherapist (God bless her hot, post 2 babies body) told Carl that he's been "pussin' out" on our class. And that we've been doing too much lower body work and not enough upper body exercises. Now this woman, SUPER nice. I actually do like her. But seriously? That's like dangling a steak in front of a lion.

So today we got punished. Not the "hot and sweaty, between the sheets" punishment you like in the bedroom (sorry mom). But the "hot and sweaty, spotty vision in the gym" punishment. I spent the majority of the class today cursing Allison for ever making me join mountain conditioning and erasing all of the sexy thoughts I ever had about Carl and his beautiful legs. Honestly, I was just trying to get out alive.

I averaged a heart rate of 150 over 1.5 hours and max'd at 194. I didn't even know my heart rate could get up to 194! THAT is was worth every, excrutiating Tuesday and Thursday morning minute in that class.

Wednesday, May 21

Tomorrow

I am already geared up for tomorrow. Tomorrow is leg day. Nothing like a leg day to make you feel ALIVE. Here is what is on tap:

  1. Leg Extensions: Single leg, 1 1/4 reps with 45 lbs x 3 sets in order to loosen up the legs.
  2. Leg Curls: 90-120 lbs for 3 sets.
  3. Squats: 5 - 7 sets, starting at 225 lbs, ending at 295 lbs, minimum of 4 reps per set.
  4. Sissy Squats: Will be superset with the back squats.
  5. Front squats: 5-6 sets, starting at 135 lbs, ending at 190 lbs, minimum of 6 reps per set.
  6. Overhead squats: Will be superset with the front squats. Weight is usually ONLY 65 lbs.
  7. Set from HELL: 5:15 on the hack squat machine... FUN FUN.
  8. Stiff Legged Deadlifts: 3 sets ~ 155-200 lbs.
  9. Lunges: 3 set to failure of 125 lbs.

Finish off with 30-35 minutes of cardio on the stepmill.

After that, I will ensure a protein shake and TONS of BCAA's which will allow me to walk normal on Friday.

As for my diet, I have been fairly strict this week. I am really trying to get this weight off as I am tired of being a fat guy.

I wanted to comment on Allisons post from yesterday about settling. I REALLY think there are a lot of people out there that have the "settling" mindset. I have been one of them for years. I have had some of the BEST excuses:

  1. I have been fat for a long time, I am genetically predisposed to being fat, nothing I can do.
  2. My parents aren't thin, so how can I be??
  3. I workout hard, I deserve these chips.
  4. I'm just big boneded.
  5. I am really stressed out, some chocolate will make me feel better.

However, it really takes out of the box thinking to get past it. My Dad has told me since I was 13 that I would ALWAYS struggle with my weight. I was on slimfast in 8th grade while my friends ate chicken wings. To say I have been an emotional eater would be a SERIOUS understatement. It has taken a HUGE change in mindset for me to realize that with a "correct" diet I can make huge changes. I say correct because it works for me. It's not necessarily the ONLY way to skin a cat. However, in a LOT of cases, low carb is the way to go to make quick and solid gains.

Sorry for the long winded post, I was bored :)

Thought for the Day

It's so true these days. I STILL run into it a lot even though I have been on this diet for almost 12 weeks.

"One beer isn't going to hurt"
"What, does you vagina hurt??? Have some of these chips"

This is a really good article on toxic people.

http://www.t-nation.com/article/features/its_sabotage&cr=

Lack of Posting

Sorry guys for my lack of posts... Been a hectic couple of days in terms of work... Having people trying to screw you out of thousands can take some of the starch outta your drawers.

Today at the gym was shoulders and biceps day. I also did 45 minutes of HIIT training. I think the addition of HIIT has really made my weight loss speed up. At least it has kept me moving forward. For some additional NEPA (Non-Exercise Physical Activity), I will be playing some golf tonight in the rain.

Aleks, you asked for kickass UPPER body workout for this weekend. If it were me, here is how I would do it. I generally don't do it, but the idea is to work efficiently;

1) Chin ups. If you cannot do many or ANY, doing negatives will REALLY work the same muscles.
2) Chest exercise of your choice. Some type of compound movement. Dumbell, barbell press.
3) Dips. Aleks, you can do them on a bench if you like.
4) STANDING barbell press. Aleks, you have the link for that. Not only does that work the shoulders but the ENTIRE posterior chain.
5) Floor sweepers. Just for the fun of it.
6) Man push ups. Will help you finish off your chest, tris and upper back.

I would try and do 3 sets of each with limited rest between. If you want to get your heartrate up, you can even superset (no rest between) the opposing movement. IE, superset chinups with your chest exercise.

This shouldn't take you anymore then an hour. I would then possibly add some HIIT to kick my own ass.

Oy Vey

I needed to channel my inner older jewish woman for that title. Thats what I say when I go to sit down or stand up, actually sitting here doesnt feel so hot either - so say it with me Oy Vey. Man since the race I am tuckered out. Like my joints are creaky, jeez at 29 you'd think I'd bounce back a little faster. Nope no bounce here either.

Im having a moment reprieve from fretting. You know one of thos blissful moments when you look up and realize you havent thought about your failures at weight loss. So i am going to take advantageof that and put down a list of positives. Thats right positives, the opposite of negative which i usually am :)

I am thankful for where I am today because:
1. I can fit into an airplane seat or a movie theatre seat without worry of not being able to put down the arm rests.
2. I can exercise, run and in general move. My legs get me there even as im yelling at them to be smaller.
3. Where my body is average and needs lots of work my mind is not and in the long run I will take a quick wit and sharp tongue over a rockin body any day.
4. I like myself better today than I did 10 years ago, thats a solid upward trend.

So on that note Im off like a prom dress, which is a complete point of bitterness cuz I got nothing on my prom night - Oy Vey!

Tuesday, May 20

Acceptance vs. Giving In

I am very familiar with eating disorders. You dont have to be the "after school special" rushed to the hospital, puking after every meal kinda eating disorder. It can be as simple as always thinking about your weight, always feeling shame when you eat the "bad" food and never being satisfied with how you look. Ive worked really hard to not be that compulsive over exerciser/borderline anorexic that I was in highschool. Ive tried to incorporate realistic expectations and healthy habits.

But its when the healthy habits dont work that I start getting triggered. Finding myself in this position I started seeing my therapist and nutritionist, hoping that if we worked together I could find the right balance where I was achieving weight loss and being healthy about it.

Despite this excellent plan (and I sooooo know that G*d laughs at those who plan) I have continued to see my weight go up. Infact from November 07 to now I have put back on 10lbs. And please dont tell me that its muscle because while I acknowledge some may be muscle it isnt all muscle. I e-mailed my therapist and nutritionist and both of them wrote back about patience and discomfort in change, accepting of who you are and being happy with yourself. My question is when is acceptance just giving in? I can guarentee that I was alot happier 6 mos ago and ten pounds ago. When did over 50% of Americans decide that they should just accept themselves as overweight? why should I have to accept that this is as good as it gets?

So at the moment, the hardest thing about this weight loss is the dichotomy of pushing myself and accepting myself, of healthy vs. disordered weight loss.

I went home last night and made a huge batch of lowfat egg and tuna salad and a large thing of chicken fajitas with lots of veggies. Its a start, one day at a time :)

"Modified" Mountain Climbers

Carl is walking around our class today while we're doing some exercise and starts dropping big piles of towels in a few areas. He has this thing about keeping us moving... you barely stop one thing and he's starting you on the next (keeps the heart rate up). So we wrap up on one exercise, and he says "we're going to clean the floors today". Allison, who's been in the class for a few months now (and has obviously experienced this pleasure before) makes some sort of comment indicating that I'm about to experience the worst pain of my life.

This is why I LOVE Carl. If you're not doing something totally new he takes a regular exercise and ups the intensity. Today we did mountain climbers. Not just regular mountain climbers with our hands on the floor, but we also had each foot on a towel and had to slide our feet back and forth towards our hands. I don't know where he gets this shit. I searched the web and there wasn't ONE single reference to this type of modified mountain climber.

As if that wasn't enough, we did 3 sets of this:

30 second mountain climbers
30 second side plank
30 second side plank (other side)

The side planks are about a thousand times harder when you're out of breath and your shoulders already burn from the mountain climbers. I can barely keep it together for 10 seconds at a time and there are these two women behind me that are doing the side planks with their top leg and arm extended (like a star). Biatches.

This class better make me damn sexy (and way better in bed)...

Monday, May 19

Sore and WFH

This is why I hurt today.







And boy, do I ever hurt. A stiff and very slow run for about 40 minutes this morning. I'm working from home today so I also got in a walk down by the lake after the run. I LOVE SUMMER IN SEATTLE... even if it's only 3 days out of the year.
This afternoon I'm babysitting for my boss while his wife is out of town and he has to run in to work. 1 pm to 6 pm... man-to-man with a 1.5 year old boy. I bet I'm home by 7 pm and asleep by 8.
I downloaded the before shots to my PC this morning. Urgh, so much worse when you see them blown up full screen. This weekend I'm going to take another set in a bikini (yes really). If you're going to do it, might as well go balls out. Dear Lord I hope I hit goal weight, because these before shots are permanently burned into my mind...

Re: Skinny Jeans & Weekend recap

Aleks,

That is GREAT motivation... I think that visual learners need visual motivation. I know for a fact that I am one. If I didn't take my weekly pictures and try clothes on once a week, I would for SURE lose my motivation and go back to eating a LARGE bag of Doritoes.

As for my own progress, I had 3 days in a row of REALLY low temperature and increase resting heart rate. As I have read, that is a VERY good sign of a struggling metabolism and a possibility of an oncoming sickness. I took most of the weekend off to recover. I didn't GORGE on carbs by any stratch but I really didn't take note of everything that went in my mouth. Thus, I woke up this morning VERY refreshed with a LOT of energy. This "refeed" cost me a pound but it will keep me going ALL week.

As for excercise on the weekend, I had a TERRIFIC leg day yesterday morning. Aleks, my set from hell is now at the 5:00 mark. It is a REALLY good pain. From a cardio standpoint, thanks to Aleks I am now back running. I ran for 30 minutes this morning at a snails pace without much in the way of knee pain. So, that was always a good sign.

Sorry for the long post, but I hadn't posted in a few days.

Sunday, May 18

Skinny Jeans

Yes, the ONE item I want to fit into most are the token skinny jeans. For me, it's a pair of Citizens of Humanity that I haven't worn since the summer I moved here. They are hanging on my closet door, not to be romoved until I can wear them to work one day.

If you know me, you know the "clutter" in my bedroom will be enough motivation to stay on plan...

Water Retention

Dear God I hope that's what it is. I also woke up this morning and thought to myself "how can I possibly workout as much as I have and not lose weight". Apparently Allison, John and I are all in the same boat today. A huge part of me is taking comfort in knowing that John (who is the most fit person I know) is also up on the scale this morning. I'm praying that my muscles are retaining a massive amount of water to recover from yesterday's hike. Let's hope tomorrow morning will be better.

I took my before shots today. I know what I look like in shorts and a sports bra, but it's so sad when you can actually capture a permanent reminder of the rolls that hang out from beneath the bra. I hate back fat. I hate that when I gain weight, none of my bras fit anymore. I hate that I can't wear a fitted top because you can see the fat trying to escape from all side of the miracle bra (no amount of lace makes a bra sexy when even your fat is trying to run away). I refuse to buy bigger bras. Mainly because Victoria's Secret now charges $40 a pop for one and I need about 4 base colors just to get by. I have a closet full of clothes that are great, I'm not replicating it all in a bigger size. No matter what.

So, when I have some progress to show against my before shots (like Kirk), I will also post them side by side on the blog. In the meantime, I'm printing them out and using them as motivation to fit into my closet full of size 8 clothes.

I hate the Scale

I got on the scale thism orning. 156lbs.
While I know that my eating has not been spot on I also know that exercise wise I am at my peak.
Its depressing to think that I have to eat chicken and broccoli to achieve weight loss, or at least thats what ,my internal monologue says in the depression of stepping off the scale.
OMG I am so sad.
I feel like you feel at the very end of the race when you just have nothing left inthe gas tank. The thought of having to cut all carbs and fruit out again makes me want to cry. And my dietician keeps saying "you dont have to worry about calories with them amount of exercise you do"
Obviously, this is bull sh*t.
Oh man this is going to be a long day.

Saturday, May 17

I dont commune with nature, never have. I enjoy exercise only to the extent that i enjoy the size ten jeans i can fit into as a result of the exercise. Keeping that in mind I just finished a hike with an awesome group of people. Eight miles, snow at the upper mile (or two - or a long mile...) we were right on the side of a mountain pretty high up with a lot of downhill should we fall or stumble. Most people would appreciate the beauty, hell my husband feels closer to G*d when he hikes. But Im scared of heights and if I had m y druthers I would have been sitting by a pool sipping a lava flow or sex on thebeach. So how do I feel about the exercise but not exercise break into nature?

I
Feel
Sore

So I didnt commune with nature or enjoy the view. I burned calories and stared at some feet infront of me for five hours. And now Im going to eat BBQ - cuz I can since I communed with nature.

Lake Serene

Kirk, the comment about cheating and kicking yourself in the ass was perfect. Last night we hosted a bachelorette party at my place and then went out. I think I had 3 sips of an alcoholic beverage all night, but the food was definitely off.

So today, after just 4.5 hours of sleep we headed out to an 8 mile hike up to Lake Serene. It was Allison and her husband John, my old roommate Fritz and a friend (Ben) from Indianapolis. I don't have a lot of hiking experience, so this was easily the most difficult hike I've done.

First, it was 4 miles to the top. We took a small 1 mile detour to see some additional water falls which put our total hike to 9 miles out and back. But the kicker, was that the trail is hikeable from mid June and we're a month early for that. We expected snow at the top, but we had no idea just how much there would be! It started about 1.5 miles from the summit, and it was dicey to say the least. The trails were covered in snow, then we had to cross a steep snow field and get over a snow ridge. The majority of people that took the hike to the top had either hiking poles and/or snow shoes. We did not, which meant I was firing some muscle fibers I didn't know exhisted just to stay on my feet (which we didn't always do successfully). Even though I have only taken 3 classes from Carl, I was thankful for the million repitions of lunges we've been doing on unstable surfaces. So key to safety on the tougher hikes.

It was 90 F at parking lot level so we were wearing shorts. At times it got cold, but the majority of the time we were covered in sweat, mud, snow and water from the waterfalls. The scene from the top was incredible of the mountains and the still very frozen lake below. I can't think of a more beautiful way to "punish ourselves". Or better company. We left the house at 7:30 am and didn't get back until about 4 pm. Honestly, it didn't feel like a whole day went by... something to do with the eye candy and our never ending group banter (fart game in the bathtub, Italians and Rocky).

The hike itself took about 5 hours. All of us were pretty exhausted from little sleep and a lot of sun. Summer is here, I have some mild "heat exhaustion". ;-) It's 7 pm now, I've showered and eaten. I'm catching up on TiVo even though I should be catching up on work email. Blah... maybe tomorrow. Right now, I'm going to fight to urge to nap and try to stick it out until 9ish and crash early. Hopefully I can walk tomorrow... TBD ST (to be determined, stay tuned).

Friday, May 16

Pictures

Here is REALLY how I judge my progress. PLEASE try not to throw up :)

I also got my hair cut Aleks... Ange made me lose the flowing locks.


Fat Guy Measurements

Here are the fat guy's measurements. I am posting BOTH starting and current stats so you can see where I have been:


2/27/2008 5/16/2008 Total Lost

Chest 48.25 43.5 4.75
Waist 50.75 42.25 8.5
Neck 17 15.25 1.75
Thigh 31 27 4
Calf 16 16.5 -0.5
Upper Arm 16 16 0
Shoulders 54 51.5 2.5

Total 233 212 21

Weight 283 237 46

I will post a couple of pictures next if the technically SLOW guy can figure it out.

Fat Guy Rules :)

My cardinal rules so far have been:

You can only eat it IF:

1) It walks, swims or flies.
2) It is green and preferably leafy.
3) If is walks, swims or flies AND is green, leave it alone.

I have not had ANY bread or booze in 11 weeks now. That has been VERY key for me. That is OUTSIDE my 30th b-day of course.

I TRY to stay between 50g - 75g of carbs on a daily basis. I also try to get 1g of protein for each pound of body weight I am currently carrying.

I am open to any OTHER questions... Not that I am all that intelligent :)

Breaking the rules already?

Honestly, I love Kirk's rules. Mainly because they are simple in theory, harder in practice... like everything about a "lifestyle change".

So, I have to admit that I broke one of my rules last night. Though I didn't drink to intoxication (NOT EVEN CLOSE ACTUALLY), I did have more than 2 drinks. At 1:30 pm (it's 5 pm somewhere), a friend from the office came by with wine. So, I had a HALF glass. During my dinner date last night, I had another 2 glasses and then a gin and club soda. However, I ate about half of what I normally eat when I eat out (portion control and no desert) which is probably why I was down on the scale this morning. That being said, I do NOT intend to make it a practice to get my calories from booze rather than wholesome food.

I got to bed around 11 pm last night and intended on sleeping until 7:30ish this morning. I was either going to skip out on a workout today or ride my bike on the trainer to get the blood flowing through the legs post Carl. I ended up waking up around 6 am to a beautifully sunny morning. I got dressed, picked up a coffee in the coffee shop in my building and decided to head out for a walk. You rarely get days like this around here and since I wasn't in a huge rush to get in to work this morning I figured I'd take advantage of the weather.

Not to be a lame ass but seriously, is there anything better than taking a walk by the lake with a kick ass coffee and talking to your family back home? I can imagine that it's similar to the feeling Allison gets when she takes her horse out in the morning or when Kirk gets in an early morning round of golf. I got in an hour walk, lots of fresh air and some quality time with my mom and then my brother. The eye candy isn't bad that early on the lake either... so many sexy runners. :-)

Anyways, that is the rant of the day. I guess I should shower and get on to work. I'm stuck in meetings from 10 am straight through to 4 pm today. It's a good thing I won't see the daylight because if I did, I'd be wishing I was on a patio somewhere, eating appetizers and drinking a pomegranate martini...

Thursday, May 15

Kirk you have probably already told Aleks your "rules" but would you mind posting them? I am always interested in what works for people...

Thanks!

Allison

Rules

Aleks,

Care to SHARE your rules for us less enlightened??? :) You know my cardinal rule for my diet.

I suspect that BOTH of you will need more carbs than I have cut down too. This 90 minute class sounds like absolute hell and without sufficient carbs IMMEDIATELY following that workout, you will feel like crap for days on end. You also have much, much less weight to lose then I do so small changes will make a huge difference.

I have gone very strict with my diet for a few of reasons:

1) It works.
2) Any form of "moderation" for me leads QUICKLY to excess.
3) It makes my "cheat" day that much more enjoyable.

If I were to impart ANY sort of tips in regards to carbs, it would be to TRY and ingest them early in the day. Late day carbs are a huge sin and lead to much stagnation on the weight loss front :)

I will be taking my end of week measurements tomorrow. I will also post up a couple of pictures to show HOW much work I still have to do.

"Its not Hell but you can see if from there"

Im not sure if I got those pearly words of wisdom 100% correct but you get the jist. My mountain conditioning coach yelled that witty catchphrase out as he was ordering us from weights to cardio. Between fighting the ever rising vomit and mopping myself with an already soaked towel I let those words sink in. To me that speaks so much to this weight loss effort, its not hell but I can defintiely see it from here.

Aleks and I survived the class. 90 minutes of cardio and weights, high intensity crazy heart rate prayer inducing class. And for the most part I have to confess that I love it. Love not being able to walk down the stairs the next day or love the fact that I curse the inventor of the "walking lunge" every time I sit down at my work desk. Cuz in the end i feel accomplished and hopeful that some part of me that is sore will be shrinking if I just keep at it.

But the eating thing - ugh that is what gets me everytime. For a while I was on the 1200-1400 calorie diet but then my nutritionist says " nope you need more calories cuz you are working out too much" well then my weight goes up and all she can say is "give it time", "understand your relationship with food". Hmmmm, my relationship with food - of that this is what I understand - if there was a domestic violence sanctuary for women engaged in hostile relationships with food I would be there. Food is not kind to me. I eat a small amount I gain weight, I eat more I gain weight. So I dont understand and it's frustrating and my relationship is in need of some major counseling.

This week I'm going to try to cut sugar out and eat less but healthier carbs. We will see how this goes. Im not holding my breath.

Without further adieu mymeasurements this morning:
Weight: 153.5
Height: 62 inches
Body fat: (I did a bod pod testing last week) 23.4%
Chest: 34.5"
Waist: 28"
Hip: 42"
Arm: 12"
Thigh: 25.5"

Wednesday, May 14

Starting over again?

Well, I think I've spent enough time on this site setting up the blog, adding authors and reading posts. I suppose it's time to actually write something. I feel like I've been here before. A number of times. In fact, many of you have seen me here before. Here are the stats in case you need proof of the roller coaster:

Height: 66 inches
Highest weight in University: 151 lbs
Lowest weight in University (post Weight Watchers online): 137 lbs (August 2004)
Weight when I moved from Toronto to Redmond: 142 lbs (May 2005)
Weight when I joined Microsoft: 145 lbs (January 2006)
Highest weight before I joined Weight Wathchers in Summer 2007: 158.2 lbs

Highest weight I've ever seen on a scale: 163.something lbs
Weight just before last Christmas: 150 lbs (December 2007)
Current weight (as of this morning)... wait for it... wait for it... 159.2 lbs

BMI: 25.69 (officially in the overweight category)

Chest: 38 inches
Waist: 31.5 inches
Hips: 41.75 inches
R Thigh: 24.5 inches
R Arm: 10.75 inches


It's like the freshman 15 all over again. Except it's more like the freshman 20. So it's true. I would like to lose 10 lbs by July 14th. Ultimately, I think I'd like to end up in the 145 lb range.

No secret, here are my vices:
Booze
Sweets
Booze
Bread
Booze
Purple Café
Did I say Booze?

Think I have a thing with carbs? Just a bit. So Kirk has lost a bunch of weight and has really cut down on carbs. I can’t stick to his guidelines, but I can set some rules of my own. I’m a rules person, it helps me stay on track.

1. No drinking to intoxication. This will help with diet and with sticking to the workout plan.
2. It’s unreasonable for me not to drink Monday through Thursday with the number of work engagements I have (and the odd date). So, no more than 2 glasses of wine, up to two days from Monday through Thursday.
3. Portion control, portion control, portion control.

There are more and the above rules will tighten up as I progress. But these should at least ensure my survival through the first 2 weeks.

Anyways, I’m off… to walk around my floor so that I can get out of bed tomorrow morning without falling over. Damn Carl.

Skinny Folk

You skinny folks and your fast running and ONLY 10 pounds to lose. Makes us fat folks ILL!!!

I have closer to 50 pounds still to lose. So far I am down 46 but MANY a mile still to go. I am with Allison though on the honest to goodness weight loss versus an unhealthy dehydrated toxin induced weight loss.

I really think this challenge is what I need right now. It is SOOOOOO easy in the summer to slack on the diet and drink lots and eat even more. However, I am bound and determined to see an ab. I know they are there. I have NEVER seen them. I imagine they would look pretty cool though.

I have accurate weighting and measurements. I am a slave to the tape measure (weekly), scale (daily), resting HR (daily) and thermometer (daily) to measure my progress. I also take pictures in various disgusting poses on a weekly basis in order to see how I am doing. I will make these available to whomever needs to see the horrific numbers.

Goals and Commitment

I suppose the first post from me should be my goals, as I have many amongst which are goals such as wake up looking like Scarlett Johansen, I should post my realistic goals to our little weight loss blog.

Aleks and I over ogling the local gym eye candy and sweating our brains out decided that ten pounds is our weight goal to be shed by July 14th. Two months from today we will be ten saintly pounds lighter, looking fine and fit. Our big payoff and reward, because lord knows I need the gold star on my white board of life to accomplish anything, is a trip to Las Vegas for a weekend of swimsuit wearing, money wasting good times.

Ten pounds in two months? Some people would say "completely doable", "not difficult". However I have found that this ten pounds is like the rash from highschool that wouldnt go away.Well maybe that was just my highschool experience but regardless this ten pounds is a bitch.

So in addition to making the goal of ten pounds I am also going to make the goal to do it correctly. So no saunas, hot tubs, running in ceran wrap prior to weigh in. No laxative use, slimfast shake for every meal, diuertic induced weight loss, this has to be the honest to G*d eat less move more absence of weight.

So there it is. Vegas get ready.

1st Post

Always fun to be the first one to post. Aleks, glad to see you enjoy the floor sweepers enough to name a BLOG after them.

Also glad to see you have some VERY specific goals. Your goals are a LITTLE more modest then mine as I still have a TON more weight to lose then you do. However, I am glad to see you are ready to roll.